Signs of red flags dating someone
This is a big one: He downplays all the "RULES" people follow when dating.
He complains that women always make men jump through hoops.
This probably won't be as straight forward as flicking them off, like in the picture above.
But if they aren't saying "please" or "thank you" or are just being generally unkind to the waiter, you can bet they aren't going to be kind to you for very long either.
Too many women are misled by the romantic myth that men are "diamonds in the rough" and we are supposed to "help" them become better men, often by sacrificing our own needs.
We are socialized to believe that if we help them, take care of them, give up our own needs for theirs, they will "take care" of us. Of course, men are just as vulnerable- they often marry women they barely know, feeling that they have to be "mature" and "grown up" and then end up miserable because they're stuck with someone they have nothing in common with.
Once you marry the person and (worse yet) get pregnant, all at once the person resumes the addiction and or goes off the psych medications.
There is a small but important subsection of assholes who go into good cause work or the ministry precisely to conceal, even to themselves, their own dark sides.
They may need to marry in order to be employable as ministers. He comes from a much wealthier family that is readily accepting of you.
It does indeed happen that someone can be an asshole in private will conceal this behind a public facade and do lots of good away from home as a renowned therapist, a much loved social justice activist, or as a charismatic and saintly spiritual leader.
Being partnered with a Jekyll/Hyde type who is a saint in public and a schmuck in private is a nightmare because no one wants to believe that such an altruist could possibly be abusive in private.